Match Report: Ticklers totter but they don’t fall down PDF Print E-mail
As ever, from your trusty correspondent. If you don't get the weebles reference you're either too young or too American!

On a night eerily reminiscent of last summer’s washout, gloom, murk and bluster descended on the hilly slopes of Primrose, imparting a slippery sheen to the pitch, which could have spelt trouble for the notoriously accident-prone Ticklers. Things looked doubly ominous as crock in chief Mike was ordered to strip off and prepare for action by Cap’n Julie, thanks to the no show of both rain-shy Kyle and Captain America (whose loyalty to the team was questioned as he chose to watch a bunch of no hopers losing dismally at Wembley, over his valiant comrades struggling in the rain.) Luckily, action man Ken was flown in no expense spared direct from the plains of Africa, to keep up the big-hitting Yank quotient and took a brilliant catch in the outfield, despite his claim not to have played for 25 years.

Struggling to get going, the Ticklers let numerous chances slip through their fingers as the Piranhas got off to a flying start, scoring five in their first innings as the Ticklers were out for a duck (not a golden goose). “We’re losing to pinpricks”, or some kind of words to that effect, fun-time Frankie poetically pronounced to anyone who would listen.  And the Ticklers slide into ignominy could have been hastened as deputy chief crock Adam slipped and fell at second and there was a collective intake of breath as he ruefully rubbed his erstwhile injured knee.

But no lasting harm was done and things took a turn for the better as Mike executed a stunning double play at first, where his immobility didn’t affect his performance. Joanna, by contrast was a picture of energy off the field, keen to avoid the dreaded quad pull, but sadly seemed to go into a trance whenever the ball sailed by.

Another innings and the Ticklers were reinvigorated, helped by their freakily dangerous weapon, with rock solid hitting and running (sparking ill-tempered debate over who’s the most speedy) from all the gals and home runs aplenty.  Emboldened by their display Mitch’s wily pitching started to irk the Piranhas into silly mistakes.

The previously butterfingered players tightened up their game and became a lean, mean softball machine, with aggressive upfront fielding achieving a triple golden lockdown,  as it shall now be known. Team homies Leigh and Becky bigged up the team’s achievement with an all-new hand gesture.

The Piranhas simply couldn’t swim against the tide any longer. Bewildered, bedraggled and bamboozled they gave up the ghost and headed pubwards. And the big success story of the evening - our new après-softball boozing joint: the Adelaide, who presented hungry softballers with feasts fit for their hardy souls.

It was almost shots all round, as Frank chivalrously decreed that the lovely ladies of the team deserved to warm their cockles, then ruined the effect with impertinent questioning. B@*@*@s to the Pembroke cried Cap’n Julie, as she drunkenly juggled team sheets for the next three months.

Final Score: Piranhas 12 Ticklers 23
Primrose Hill pitch 3

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Last Updated on Thursday, 29 May 2008 17:14